Romantic Comedies for People Who Hate Romantic Comedies
You might fall *in love* with these films
Ah, Valentine’s Day. A super chill day that makes people spin out with their feelings. No one is immune whether you are celebrating with your sweetie, going out with your friends, feeling lonely at home, feeling angry that you’re lonely at home, or treating yourself. Film bros are no exception.
Since the moment I met proper Film Bros (TM), I’ve been invited to Valentine’s Day screenings of the same few films: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Before Sunrise, or In the Mood for Love. All great films - some of my favorites - but there are SO many romantic classics to choose from and I’m always confused as to why they don’t choose funny films. Why are these the only “appropriate” movies? Film Bros generally look down on “chick flicks” and rom coms, but why does a demo that stereotypically prizes sex jokes hate romantic comedies which tend to be full of them?
Have they simply never seen them?
I think so! I was shocked how few people in my grad school screenwriting program seemed to have ever seen a romantic comedy - not one! - when so many of them have been written by the screenwriting greats. As someone who was pretty influenced by film bro suggestions, it took ME an embarrassingly long time to watch classic romantic comedies. When I finally watched When Harry Met Sally at nearly 30 years old, I was blown away. It’s SO funny…still! It’s the blueprint that all of the romantic comedies afterward sought to emulate. Sure, some 90s rom coms feel cheesy and the 2010s ones feel 2 twee 2 handle, but A LOT of them are laugh-out-loud funny. So many of them are told through male perspectives like Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Several rom coms focus on falling out of love like The Breakup. They have action scenes like Scott Pilgrim. There’s Something About Mary puts c*m in the ingenue’s hair for chrissakes!
So why all the venom for romantic comedies? “They're so formulaic!” Awesome. Have you seen a Western? A superhero movie? Any film written by anyone who has been taught to write by the literal formula that Save the Cat teaches? Hollywood movies are, and I hate to break this to ya, written by a formula.
And if it’s truly formula you hate, then I’m here to tell you that there are plenty of sick-n-twisted romantic comedies for your anti-conformist heart. So, for those people who are still going to argue with me that they hate them, here are my suggestions:
Young Adult (2011)
Hey, did you want a really uncomfortable and fucked up rom com? Here you go! I love this movie. This movie cemented Diablo Cody as one of my favorite screenwriters. I never thought of it as a romantic comedy until a recent rewatch when I realized that it is a rom com where the romance is unrequited AND inappropriate, but our leading lady is so delusional that she doesn’t see those two things as barriers. The movie stars Charlize Theron as a semi-successful writer who goes back to her hometown to win back her high school boyfriend…at his daughter’s christening. She doesn’t care that he’s married and starting a family! What about SOULMATES?!
Fire Island (2022)
Are you tired of the classic guy-gets-the-girl-in-the-end trope? Then try this movie in which there are no women to romantically consider! Fire Island is not anti-formula. It is based on Pride & Prejudice, but it is so freshly done that it is worth considering. The twist? They’re all gay! And hilarious.
Harold and Maude (1971)
This is usually labeled a “dark comedy”, but the taboo romance is at the center of it. It is the romance between Harold, a 20-year-old who is obsessed with death, and a free-spirited 79-year-old woman named Maude. Their friendship transforms into romance as Harold becomes inspired by Maude’s rich and rebellious life to live his to the fullest. Love does that to us!
Stranger than Fiction (2006)
I’ve always loved this movie. Not just because it features a writer. Not just because it takes place in Chicago. Not just because Maggie Gyllenhaal plays a cool anarchist baker. But because there is something sweet at the core of this oddball comedy where Will Ferrell plays an aggressively boring tax man named Harold Crick who starts hearing a narrator’s voice (Emma Thompson) in his head narrating his thoughts as if he were the protagonist of a novel. He shrugs it off until the voice says: “Little did he know, that this simple, seemingly innocuous act, would lead to his imminent death.”
Faced with the knowledge that, if the voice is truly omniscient, he is about to die, Harold changes it up. He takes bold risks, like asking out the woman he just audited. You never know when one seemingly innocuous act will shut everything down, so you may as well have some fun and fall in love.
High Fidelity (2000)
I used to put this in the film bro category, but the younger generation of film bros never seem to mention it. High Fidelity plays with a fantasy a lot of us have had: what if we could have an honest discussion with anyone who has ever dumped us about what was wrong with us? Music enthusiast Rob (John Cusack) seeks to do just that, traveling all over Chicago (it’s the Paris of the Midwest) to ask a variety of exes about what went wrong. Does he learn lessons and become a better man? Eh, well, he sure does give us a lot of Top Five lists.
Chungking Express (1994)
Let’s go to Hong Kong for high-octane action and love! I’ve always loved the colorful French film Amelie, but when I finally watched legendary director Wong Kar-Wai’s Chungking Express I understood that most of Amelie’s beloved quirks were stolen from this movie. They are both fun movies, but there is an added edge to Chungking Express that makes this so thrilling to watch. Intrigue, adventure, and danger - that’s amore!
Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
Sex dolls need love, too, okay? Ryan Gosling plays a socially awkward man who orders a Real Doll from the internet and treats her as his very real human girlfriend much to his concerned family’s dismay. Eventually, people go along with Lars as we watch him become confident enough to form a human connection with the coworker crushing on him. That’s one way to get the girl.
They Came Together (2014) & The Baxter (2005)
I think a double feature of these two films would make for a great Valentine’s Day watch. Start with The Baxter which is more sincerely a romantic comedy and it was this same gang’s first attempt to do their version skewering rom com tropes. Michael Showalter plays the guy who is left at the altar at the end of great romantic comedies and we see the entire film leading up to the wedding moment through his eyes as his fiance (Elizabeth Banks) falls for the World’s Coolest Guy (Justin Theroux) right in front of our eyes. The man studies geodes - you just can’t compete with that!
This same group of people made They Came Together a decade later which is a much more straight-forward parody of the romantic comedy genre. This is THE parody of the genre. If you’re even remotely familiar with romantic comedies, then you will get a big kick out of this movie with its all-star cast of comedic actors.
And here are a few underrated and off-beat romantic movies that don’t get enough love. Everything except for Sweet Land (it’s a nice movie with a good score from Mark Orton) is bound to elicit some kind of “what in the world did I just watch?!!” reaction that pushes the limitations of love:
Sweet Land, Secretary, The Lobster, Pumpkin, Trust, Phantom Thread, La Bonheur, and The One I Love. Aw, isn’t love…kind of weird and dangerous? And also sweet!
What I’m watching is Severence season 2, A Real Pain (VERY good. I gotta give it to Eisenberg on that script and I hope Culkin gets the Oscar for his performance.).
What I’m reading: Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders
What I’m listening to: “Abracadabra” by Lady Gaga on repeat.